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  • Writer's pictureSabaa Afzal, LPC

5 Ways I Ask You to Listen

Updated: Nov 26, 2018

  1. When I have asked you to listen to me and you start giving me advice, you have not done what I asked.

  2. When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel this way, you are trampling on my feelings.

  3. When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problems, you have not helped me.

  4. When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weaknesses. I am not helpless, maybe discouraged and faltering but not helpless.

  5. When you accept the simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational it may seem, then I can quit trying to convince you and get about the business of understanding what's behind the feeling. And, when that is clear, the answers are within reach and I don't need advise. Feelings make sense when you understand what is behind them.

So, please, listen, and just hear me. And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn and I'll listen to you.

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