Sabaa Afzal, LPC
5 Ways I Ask You to Listen
Updated: Nov 26, 2018
When I have asked you to listen to me and you start giving me advice, you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel this way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problems, you have not helped me.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weaknesses. I am not helpless, maybe discouraged and faltering but not helpless.
When you accept the simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational it may seem, then I can quit trying to convince you and get about the business of understanding what's behind the feeling. And, when that is clear, the answers are within reach and I don't need advise. Feelings make sense when you understand what is behind them.
So, please, listen, and just hear me. And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn and I'll listen to you.
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